Goodbye

This is the end I’ve never seen…

With tears and screams fallen between

With hopes that burn and turn to dust

With broken hearts that breath the rust

With memories so fresh yet faded

With black desires, time we waited

Empty cups… Now empty hearts

The end of us .. It really starts

Where should I go, where should I run

In dusty graves there is no fun

It’s only silence, death and mud

And solitude.. You’re not around

Where are you now, what thing is this?

A nightmares raised above my dreams

And sparkles in the night’s domain

You’re not around… I feel such pain

And seconds turn to hours, days

She’s far away, memory stays

I wish just this would go away

And feel no fears for today

I guess this is goodbye my love

The moon just whispers from above

That after time passes away

Without you… I will be okay.

Suicide Letter

Midnight.

The sky is filled with many little bright points. Some of you call them stars. The moon is also up and high on this vaste dark space above me.

A gently breeze comes down on me. I breath slowly. This is probably my last time I feel the wind upon my pale skin.

My mouth is filled with saliva.. Must be the rush I’m getting into. I keep swallowing but my mouth keeps filling with this disastrous liquid…

I close my eyes.

I am alone.. on the highest building in town. There is no one here. Left alone not because of them but because of me. They are gone like this wind that moments ago was hugging me.

Can’t do anything but embrace my solitude now. Chances. Whispers. Tears. Flaws. Desperation. Truth. Desire. Love. Hate. Freedom. Curse.

I was too mean to others and myself and right now I am doing the right thing. Fixing it. Setting the world back in its original state and position.

I do not belong here.. I am out of this world.

I am the night’s faded scream.. The demon of no control. The worm in the rotten flesh. I like it there. I am death.. The brother of nonsense. The bipolarity of mental diseases. The tumor of love…

I am lost without you.

I am on the brink of falling…

I let myself go. Time seems to be stopping. I am in the air.. And you face is all I can see.

You look sad. You look like me. You didn’t wanted this. You turn your back on me and leave. I try to reach you but you’re already too far away. I call your name.. You don’t answer. I try to approach you.. You dissapear.

And instead of you… a grey skinned pavement appears in front of me.

This is my last second. My last breath. My last blink. My last sigh. My last tear. My last memory. My last…

Almost instantly I find myself in your arms.. under the blanket. You smell so good.. You are warm. You are everything.

And I’m reduced to nothing.

Dear Esther…

[this article contains spoilers.. if you intend to play the game.. read this article after doing so]

I consider myself a big fan of First Person Shooters or any game that has a first person perspective. I’ve played many games til now.. from survival horrors to point-and-click games, puzzles, browser games, adventure games, role-playing games and so.

But my favorites remain shooters. I’m currently doing some quests in Borderlands but I also play other games.

And today I happened to play Dear Esther…

It is a short game.. a first person exploration game. The protagonist.. a survivor of a shipwreck is writing a letter to his lover. Seems it is the last thing he ever does..

The game has great graphics. You find yourself on a rocky island where you explore your own insanity.

The game presents solitude at its best. You visit places that were touched by an insane man. But who was there before you? Can you find other human beings here? Who left the messages on the rock? Who is waiting for you at the top of the mountain?

Bit by bit you get closer to the truth. You discover the remains of other ships… the remains of long forgotten houses.

Empty. Everything is empty.

The game has two other strong points beside its original gameplay. The soundtrack is amazing and the literature presented here is of a high standard.

Simplicity has never looked this good.

Dear Esther… has four main chapters.. each more interesting than the other.

Below you can enjoy a full-gameplay of Dear Esther. But I also strongly recommend playing the game too.

Tenebris Infinitus

Sadness.

I close my eyes and breath slowly. What a mess I’ve just created. Seems I cannot fix this.
This darkness consumes everything. What is left of my soul reminds me of a dead crow.
Its wings still flapping carelessly…

Sadness.

I feel happy feeling sad. It completes me. I know everything is just an illusion, and I can relax thinking that everyone is rotten inside. Their hearts are shapes of mud, bloody and filled with worms. Their eyes are wide open but they cannot see anything.

Sadness.

Death is whispering a spell. The 13th hour of darkness has arrived. A final solution for making everything right again. Reset the clock of life. But only after leaving this realm. Join me.. in death.

image

Luna

City lights are falling asleep.
The rain, emotional, so deep…
Beneath the dark, above the light
Another wrong turn that seemed right.

A cup of blood, a cup of tears
I swallow grief, I choke my fears…
But once exposed I start to die
And falling down, I reach the sky…

And there she is, beautiful corpse…
She seems alive, she’s dead… of course.
With her eyes closed, with skin so pale
A nameless goddess… fairy-tale.

They call her Luna, Moon of love
She never lived, but she’s above
Those who hold life in their hands
And cry and laugh with many friends.

She’s always there… but she’s alone
So strangely intact, like a stone
I wished I could just make her mine, but…
She remains there, frozen in time.