Chronicles of Suicide

Let’s pretend that I didn’t catch a glimpse of that. That I was never interested in such things and I found no relief in what was offered there.

Let’s pretend I wasn’t born to be put on dusty shelves like many others for people to stare at me and to complain about my defects.

I was born to have a happy and fulfilling life – even if that didn’t happen. I was brought to this world with a precise purpose. To spread the love, you would say. I’d say the contrary: to make people abandon their feelings for the close ones.

Everybody talks about love, talks about yummy-tummy butterflies and magical kisses. But you know already that these are just simple jokes that are meant to make your forget about the fucking bullshit that occurs everyday.

My story, like all good stories begins where it ends – with a rope and a sad letter to the ones who believed in me. You can make use of it…

Despair and gentleness. Fear and greatness. Hatred and innocence. The purple magic of touching one’s face, the sweet feeling of holding hands, the nightmare afterward…

Due to three little and at first sight, meaningless words, she changed her life. And when you put another one in the same group with them, she is able to let the angels go and welcome the infernal paradise.

“You are not needed” he said, almost whispering. “Your speech about this is to be considered primary and logically non-existing. You are not able to feel what I feel therefore you are of no spiritually existence”.

Feeling like being hit by a train, her emotions were spread on the floor. A very old woman appeared out of nowhere and started to collect bits of her precious emotions.

The woman found her gratitude. She put it in a plastic body-bag along with bloody-human flesh and a couple of pounds of maggots. After that, the woman found her sensibility. She locked it in a wooden coffin and burned it. When the woman found her love, a headless child appeared.

Horrified by this scene, the girl wanted to take her love back. But before she reached the woman, this child took the love and vanished.

No more you. No more me.

The sky turned dark. The crystal-clear waters were now red. The secret language of root, wood and leaves started to make sense to her. The graveyards opened to welcome her. The shadows became her close friends. The hatred assisted her as a promising mother-in-law. The fear was gone. And yet, something was missing…

Yes, I have to repeat. I was missing. As I told you, I’m the one to help you let go…

“I have to think of this, first…” she replied.

“Take your time” I said. “This is just about to begin for you!”


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